Wishing to extend appropriate seasonal or holiday greetings, but
desiring not to violate any existing laws, ordinances, or implied
societal policies regarding diversity and/or sensitivity, I wish to
offer the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the
religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your
choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or
traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all … and a fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset
of the generally accepted USA calendar year of 2005, but not without
due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures (Incan,
Myan, Hindu, and more) whose contributions to society have helped make
America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than
any other country or area of choice or any other such distinction that
is mutually agreeable to be discussed), and without regard to the
race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual
orientation of the wisher or wishee.

This wish is limited to the customary and usual good tidings for a
period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday
greetings, whichever comes first. “Holiday” is not intended to, nor
shall it be considered, limited to the usual Judeo-Christian
celebrations or observances, or to such activities of any organized or
ad hoc religious community, group, individual, or belief (or lack
thereof).

Note: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This
greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal, and is revocable
at the sole discretion of the wisher at any time, for any reason or
for no reason at all. This greeting is freely transferable with no
alteration to the original greeting. This greeting implies no promise
by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for the wisher
her/himself or others, or responsibility for the consequences which
may arise from the implementation or non-implementation of same. This
greeting is void where prohibited by law or by age limitations. Not
responsible for any overconsumption of beverages or food substances.

Oh what the heck, let me get in trouble … have a MERRY CHRISTMAS and
a HAPPY NEW YEAR!